I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
