Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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