Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
