im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we made out on top of his cat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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