The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
