What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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