Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize