I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
