Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
