ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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