batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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