Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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