Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
