It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
