you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
