does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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