I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
