she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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