please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize