kristin has been a bad kristin
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
