I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
