Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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