took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize