Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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