Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So much rum. So many feels.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
