Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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