I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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