i can't believe i had my finger in that
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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