Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
