Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
