I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
