were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
