It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
