Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
