if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I supernannyed him into submission
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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