I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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