god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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