About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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