You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
