The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
