office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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