My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
