I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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