did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
