someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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