I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
