I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
