i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
