You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
