I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
