I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
PANTIES FOUND
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
