Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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