They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize