Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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